


Bringing Home Baby

by OnceAndAlwaysEnglishMajor



Series: Childcare for Ninjas [1]
Category: Naruto
Genre: Cannon Divergent, F/M, Jiraiya takes Naruto in, Tsunade helps, parental!jiratsu, they have no idea what they're doing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-18
Updated: 2017-11-18
Packaged: 2019-02-03 20:32:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,868
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12755682
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OnceAndAlwaysEnglishMajor/pseuds/OnceAndAlwaysEnglishMajor
Summary: As Naruto's godfather, Jiraiya decides it is his job to raise the boy. But he really has no idea what to do with a baby...





	Bringing Home Baby

**Author's Note:**

> Author has not finished Shippuden. And this is very very cannon divergent at any rate.

    “Lord Hokage,” Jiraiya greeted his teacher formally. “I’ve come about Naruto. I know he’s currently being held as a ward of the village. As his godfather, I’ve come to request his guardianship.” Sarutobi studied Jiraiya.   
     “Really? You want to take on the responsibility of raising a child? Perhaps it would be better that he remain as a ward.”  
     “And never know that someone cares about him? Grow up without a family? Without someone telling him about his parents? You know he’ll be shunned for what he is! Would you really disrespect Minato’s last wishes? He did name me the child’s godfather, after all,” Jiraiya said. Sarutobi sighed.   
    “I will only ask you this once, Jiraiya?”   
    “More sure than I’ve been about anything in my life, Sensi,” Jiraiya said.   
    “Very well. Naruto’s care shall be turned over to you.”

     Jiraiya cradled the phone between his ear and shoulder, carefully holding a finally sleeping Naruto in his arms.   
     “Tsunade? Oh thank god I got ahold of you! You heard about Minato, right? Well, uh, I uh, kind of took in his kid…”  
     “You did what!” Tsunade squawked on the other end of the line.   
     “I’m his godfather!” Jiraiya whisper-yelled, so as not to wake Naruto. “Sarutobi was going raise him as a ward of the village! The kid’s a Jinchuriki, you know how he’d be treated if he didn’t have anyone to look after him! I can’t… I can’t do that to Minato…” Jiraiya said quietly. “So… What do you say about coming back to the village? Just for a little bit? Long enough to baby proof my house? Because I don’t know what I’m fucking doing, and I can’t kill Minato’s kid…” He could practically see Tsunade’s face as she sighed.   
     “Fine. But only so you don’t kill Minato’s kid, he’s technically my family too. I can be back in three days. Can you keep him alive until then?”   
     “Of course! I am a fully qualified shinobi, the mountain toad sage, one of the legendary Sannin!” Jiraiya said.   
     “You realize none of that is as impressive when it’s me you’re talking to, right?” Tsunade asked.   
     “I bought parenting books. We’ll be fine.”

     ‘Fine’ was a bit of an overstatement, Tsunade decided as she picked her way through Jiraiya’s house. He was dozing in an armchair, Naruto sleeping against his chest. It was adorable, really, though Tsunade would never tell Jiraiya that. He looked up blearily as she stepped closer.   
     “Have you even slept since you got him?” Tsunade asked.  
     “Uh, I think so? When he sleeps, I sleep. That’s what the book says. Sorry the place is…” Jiraiya gestured vaguely at the disaster of his house.   
     “Well, neither of you are dead, that’s better than I expected,” Tsunade said.”This is the one and only time I will clean up after you, Jiraiya, understand?”   
     “Hnnnn.” His eyes were already drifting shut again. Tsunade ruffled his hair fondly.   
     “Sometimes I wonder how you get us into these situations, but you’ve been attracting trouble for so long, I’m not even phased anymore.” Tsunade planted her hands on her hips. “Now, to make this disaster zone into a livable space.”   
Naruto let out a wail and Jiraiya was instantly fully awake. He cradled Naruto against his chest.   
     “It’s alright, little buddy, I’ve got you. Should we feed you or change you first?” He asked, bouncing Naruto until the child stopped his crying. He lifted Naruto a little higher, giving him a curious sniff.  
     “Ugh. Change it is,” Jiraiya said, wrinkling his nose. He walked to his bedroom, pausing when he saw Tsunade sprawled across his bed.   
      “The house looks wonderful, Tsuna,” he whispered, even though he knew she was asleep. “Now, don’t start fussing again,” Jiraiya said to Naruto as he gathered everything needed for a diaper change. He went through the process quickly and efficiently, even if he did make a series of grimaces while doing it.   
     “Where the hell did you learn to change a diaper?” Tsunade asked from behind him.   
     “I told you I picked up some parenting books,” Jiraiya said, picking Naruto up carefully and turning to face her.   
     “Sometimes I forget that you’re such a nerd,” Tsunade teased.   
     “Go back to sleep,” Jiraiya said. “Or you can come to the kitchen with me, I need to make him a bottle.” Tsunade slipped off the bed and padded after him.   
     “I could cry,” Jiraiya said, looking around the kitchen. “I could literally cry, Tsunade.”  
     “All I did was clean things up a bit,” Tsunade said, shrugging.   
     “Tsuna, I’ve been trying to clean things up since I got him,” Jiraiya explained. “I couldn’t get a handle on it.” Tsunade reached up, putting a hand on his shoulder.   
     “Well, I’m here now. We’ll figure things out.”   
     “Fuck, I need to boil more water,” Jiraiya said. He wandered to the stove, grabbed the pan that was sitting on top and filled it with water from the sink.  
     “Swearing in front of the baby might not be the best idea,” Tsunade said.   
     “Fuck, you’re right. Damn it!” Jiraiya looked at Tsuande, guilt written across his face.   
     “We have a little bit before he actually understands what we’re saying, right?”   
     “You’re the one who read the parenting books, not me,” Tsunade said. Turning on the stove, Jiraiya sat down at the kitchen table, pulling the stack of parenting books toward him.   
     “Jiraiya, it will be all right,” Tsunade soothed.   
     “Mmmm,” he hummed, eyes glued to the table of contents.   
     “They can make connections between words and things around six months,” Jiraiya murmured, scanning the text, “though they usually don't start talking until somewhere around 18 months…” Jiraiya slid the book over to Tsunade, standing up to check the water on the stove. It was boiling, so he turned the stove off. He pulled out one of Naruto’s bottles and carefully measured the formula into it before sitting back down.  
      “I have to wait until the water is cool enough,” he explained. “But you have to boil it because… Germs, or something.” He reached for the books again. Tsunade swatted his hand away.   
     “You have to boil it, got it, we don’t need the exact reason right this second, Jiraiya.” Jiraiya focused on Tsunade.   
     “Sorry. I just don’t want to do this wrong, y’know?”   
     “I know. You’re doing great, really,” Tsunade said. “I’m pretty sure no one knows what they’re doing when they start.” Jiraiya got up again to test the temperature of the water before mixing it with the formula, testing the temperature of the finished product on his wrist before offering the bottle to Naruto, who latched on eagerly. Tsunade was secretly impressed at how well Jiraiya managed one handed. Naruto looked impossibly small in Jiraiya’s arms.   
     “Tsunade? Could you find me a burp rag? I think I had some in the living room? Most of them have some sort of cutesy animal on them. I blame Minato. That’s just the sort of thing he would do.” Tsunade found the burp rag, and Jiraiya carefully shifted Naruto to lay against his shoulder, gently patting the baby’s back. Naruto burped.   
     “Good one, kiddo!” Jiraiya praised. Tsunade rolled her eyes.   
      “Don’t make that face, babies are supposed to burp after you feed them,” Jiraiya said.   
     “I know,” Tsunade said. “The face was for your reaction.” Jiraiya just grinned, lightly rocking Naruto in his arms.   
     “He’s drifting off again,” Jiraiya said. “He sleeps a lot, but not for very long. Babies take a lot of work.”  
     “Are you surprised by this?” Tsunade asked.  
     “No,” Jiraiya said. “I just… It’s been a very long time since I imagined my life would look something like this. That’s all.” Tsunade didn’t know why his words made her so sad, and she refused to think about it.   
     “Would you hold him so I can change into pajamas?” Jiraiya asked.   
     “Of course. Real wild these days, aren’t you getting ready for bed at 8 o’clock?” Jiraiya laughed at her teasing.   
     “Yeah, well, this type of partying isn’t so bad,” he said with a chuckle. “Worth it,” he added, looking at Naruto fondly as he shifted the baby into Tsunade's arms. Naruto was completely asleep when Jiraiya reemerged from the bedroom, wearing only his plaid flannel pajama bottoms. Tsunade raised an eyebrow at him. Jiraiya shrugged.   
     “I had a shirt somewhere, but he spit up on it, and digging through the drawers for a lean one seemed like too much work,” he explained. “The cribs in the bedroom, if you want to put him down. Though maybe I should move it to the living room, I can take the couch and you can have the bed… I have a second bedroom, but it’s not set up,” Jiraiya said apologetically.   
    “Don’t be an idiot,” Tsunade said. “I can sleep on the couch. Don’t make that face. It’s better than a lot of places I’ve slept, and you know it.” Jiraiya was still frowning.   
    “How about this,” Tsunade said, struck by her own brilliance, “we share the bed.” Jiraiya’s eyebrows climbed into his hairline.   
     “Not like that, you pervert!” She scolded. “You know what I meant!” Jiraiya chuckled lowly.  
     “Yeah, I know what you meant, I just wanted to see your reaction if I made that face. It was pretty priceless. C’mon, let’s go to bed. He really doesn’t sleep very long,” Jiraiya said, his face slipping into lines of tiredness. He crawled into bed while Tsunade carefully laid Naruto in the crib. By the time she turned around again, Jiraiya was already asleep.  
     “What have you gotten yourself into?” She asked no one in particular. “Or better yet, what have you gotten us into?” She muttered, crawling into the bed next to Jiraiya.   
Jiraiya sat bolt upright as a thin wail filled the room.   
     “Shh,” Tsunade soothed. “I’ve got him this time around. Go back to sleep.”   
     “Are you sure?” Jiraiya asked, his voice still thick with sleep.   
     “Yes. I’ve had more than a couple hours sleep in the last week,” she said.   
     “Alright,” he murmured, sinking back into the bed. Tsunade scooped Naruto into her arms. Jiraiya didn’t even twitch when she turned the light on to change Naruto.   
     “I don’t know the last time I’ve seen him this tired,” Tsunade said to Naruto. “You’ve really done a number on him.” Naruto just stared at her with big blue eyes.

     The sun streamed through the window when Tsunade woke up again. Jiraiya stood by the crib, Naruto cradled against his bare chest. Well shit, Tsunade thought. It is completely unfair that he is that attractive holding a baby. She tried unsuccessfully not to stare. Jiraiya turned and saw her sitting up in bed.  
     “Oh, Tsuna, did I wake you, sorry,” he muttered, trying to flip his loose hair out of his face.   
     “It’s fine,” Tsunade said, “I was already awake. And I’m still doing better than you.”  
     “That is true,” Jiraiya said. “The books weren’t lying when they said you’ll feel like you’ll never sleep again.”   
     “That’s why I’m here,” Tsunade said. “We can tag team it.”  
     “We always did make a good team,” Jiraiya said. “This might be our hardest mission yet,” he said seriously.  
     “That it might,” Tsunade said.


End file.
